12 signs of depression in children and what to do if you're worried, explained by experts

Knowing the signs of depression in children is an important step towards being able to get professional help early and prevent it from having a long-term impact on a child's life.

Feeling sad, irritable or in a bad mood is as normal for kids as it is for adults, but when feeling low lasts for weeks or longer, parents may start to worry about their children's mental health. It's not just teenagers and young adults that can struggle with mental health, much younger children can be affected too. In fact, a 2018 NHS study found "a slight increase over time in the prevalence of mental disorder in 5 to 15 year olds", rising from 9.7 per cent in 1999 and 10.1 per cent in 2004, to 11.2 per cent in 2017. This trend has continued, as further NHS research found that in 2022 18 per cent of children aged 7 to 16 years had a probable mental disorder.

Though children may find it more difficult to articulate their feelings if they're struggling with low mood, early detection is important, so you can give them the right support before it escalates. GoodtoKnow spoke to children and young people's mental health charity Place2Be to find out about the signs of depression in children and the steps parents can take if they're worried about their child's mental health. Programme Leader for Family Work Judah Racham and Regional Clinical Lead Cecilia Corbetta explained: "Recognising the signs of depression in children is crucial for parents as spotting the early signs means we can support children effectively and seek help if necessary. 

"It's important to remember that every child is unique, and the manifestation of depression can vary widely. If you observe these signs and have concerns about your child’s mental wellbeing, seeking support from your child’s school, a GP or other health professionals is essential."

Emotional signs of depression in children

1. Persistent sadness

Feelings of sadness are normal, but if these emotions last for a long time it can be a sign that a child is struggling with their mental health. This may also manifest as crying more often or more easily, or having more tantrums than usual.

Dr Danielle Grey, clinical director of mental health service Purple House Clinic Birmingham explains: "Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness are central to depression. Children may feel overwhelmed by a sense of despair, often without a clear cause, which can make day-to-day life seem insurmountable and joyless."

2. Irritability or anger

As Dr Danielle explains: "Depression doesn't only manifest as sadness; it can also lead to increased irritability, short temper, or frustration over small matters. This change in mood can strain personal relationships and exacerbate feelings of isolation and misunderstanding." For children, this may manifest as frequent crying or emotional outbursts.

Counselling Directory member Chris Boobier echoes this, saying: "Maintaining regulated feelings when depressed and not ‘blowing up’ is difficult. Help your child manage their feelings with the co-regulation of your feelings, which means not reacting to their irritation, staying calm, talking, and hugging. "

3. Social withdrawal

When people are feeling low, they are more likely to withdraw socially. As Dr Danielle explains: "Depression can lead to withdrawing from social interactions and avoiding friends or family. This isolation can be a coping mechanism to hide your feelings or due to a lack of energy and interest in engaging with others, further exacerbating feelings of loneliness."

Behavioural signs of depression in children

4. Loss of interest

Losing interest in activities that were once enjoyable - including hobbies, clubs, or social events - or having less energy and motivation to participate in them is a common sign of depression. Chris Boobier tells us: "Lacking motivation, interest, or avoiding activities usually enjoyed indicates emotional overwhelm. Persistent low feelings override any others, leaving a sense of ‘no point in trying’ and reducing self-esteem."

She adds, "When it feels like things are hopeless or can’t be changed, a child will withdraw to reduce further pain. It would feel worse to go to dance or football and mess up because they feel so bad already, rather than not go at all."

5. Changes in sleep patterns

Depression and sleep problems are closely linked, and can each exacerbate the other. Children suffering from depression may find it more difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep at night, or they might feel excessively sleepy in the day.

Dr Danielle tells us: "Sleep problems, including difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping much more than usual, are common symptoms of depression. These disruptions in sleep patterns can contribute to the fatigue and lethargy often associated with depressive states."

6. Changes in appetite

Depression can significantly alter eating habits, leading to either a decreased appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain. These changes may reflect the emotional turmoil and stress the child is experiencing.

Trauma-informed counsellor Chris tells us: "Whether it’s comfort eating or not eating enough, both can be signs of depression. A reduced appetite is usual when experiencing stress and worry, while food may be used as a way to cope with difficult feelings. This in turn leads to low mood or tiredness when not maintaining healthy eating habits."

Physical signs of depression in children

7. Unexplained aches and pains

Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches as well as joint pain can also be a sign of depression in children as well as adults. One study published in The Primary Care Companion to The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry explained that this is partly because depression and pain share a common neurochemical pathway - they are both influenced by serotonin and norepinephrine.

Unfortunately, this sometimes means depression can go undiagnosed, because the symptoms may be attributed to something else.

8. Significant weight loss or gain

As mentioned above, depression can result in either a loss of or increased appetite, which may result in dramatic changes in weight. In particular, research has linked obesity and depression - though some studies suggest that obesity actually puts children at higher risk of suffering from depression, rather than feeling depressed causing obesity.

A study published in the British Medical Journal concluded, "We found strong evidence that obese female children have a significantly higher odds of depression compared with normal-weight female children, and this risk persists into adulthood. Clinicians should consider screening obese female children for symptoms of depression."

9. Fatigue or lack of energy

Depression can be a drain on a child's energy, and you might notice that they put less effort into activities such as their schoolwork or those hobbies they used to enjoy. From the outside, it might seem like they are giving up easily or not bothering to try, but for a child struggling with constant low mood, even small tasks can feel like an enormous effort.

Cognitive signs of depression in children

10. Difficulty concentrating

Trouble concentrating and/or making decisions is a common sign of depression, and can come hand in hand with other symptoms such as a loss of interest in activities that were previously enjoyable and feelings of hopelessness. People struggling with depression may have difficulty concentrating because they no longer see the point, and for children, this can make school a challenge too.

11. Low self-esteem

Having good self-esteem is an important part of having good mental health, and kids with low self-esteem may experience feelings of worthlessness and a negative self-image, resulting in persistent low mood and causing them to struggle to cope with difficult situations they are faced with.

Though it's natural for children's self-esteem to go up and down over time, experiencing low self-esteem over a long period can make it harder for children to look after their mental health. Feeling loved and valued by the people around them is key to raising children's self-esteem.

12. Suicidal thoughts or behaviours

It can be hard to understand from the outside, but some children may self-harm if they are struggling to manage difficult feelings or are feeling overwhelmed. Unexplained cuts, burns, bruises or other markings as well as keeping themselves covered even when it's hot can be signs that a child is self-harming.

Chris Boobier tells us: "Whilst self-harm brings short-term relief, longer-term it creates a cycle of guilt and shame which continues to drive the need to harm. Helping children to recognise the strength of their emotions and ‘cope in the moment’ with an alternative action like exercising, hitting a cushion, shouting, snapping twigs, holding ice cubes, or writing down thoughts and then ripping them up can begin to help break the cycle."

What can cause depression in children?

There are a variety of external factors that can trigger feelings of low mood and depression in children and young people. Examples include bereavement, illness, family dynamics, bullying, undiagnosed learning difficulties and other school-based problems.

Dr Danielle explains: "Sometimes children might feel overwhelmed by their experiences and can struggle with low mood, but there is often a reason why they feel this way. Children will face situations that lead to difficult emotions, and it is important that they realise this is a normal part of growing up. It’s ok for them to have good and bad days, and parents need to be able to support them so that they can then notice their emotions and help them build resilience."

She adds that social media can exacerbate mental health issues in younger people, saying, "While it can have some benefits, social media can also affect mental health. How children react to notifications, likes, and comments can significantly influence their self-esteem and mood. Obsessive checking of their devices for social media updates can indicate a dependency that may lead to anxiety or depression if interactions are perceived negatively."

What age can children experience depression?

While it is less common for very young children to be diagnosed with depression, children can experience depression at any age and even those as young as preschool age may show symptoms.

However, Judah and Cecilia from Place2Be explain: "The prevalence of depression in children increases as they enter adolescence, with rates rising significantly during this stage of development."

They add that it's important to note that depression in children can present differently than it does in adults, and the symptoms listed above like irritability, social withdrawal, changes in appetite or sleep and physical complaints are just some of the signs.

Stevie Goulding is a senior manager within the Parents and Carers Services at mental health charity Young Minds. She tells GoodtoKnow: "At Young Minds we have quite a unique insight because we support from the age of nought to 25. And we see that even primary school aged children can show symptoms of low mood and depression, but often the difficulty is that younger children might not be efficiently diagnosed with depression until they are teenagers."

What should I do if I think my child is depressed?

Addressing depression in children requires patience, understanding, and professional guidance. By taking proactive steps and seeking appropriate help, you can support your child through their challenges and help them on the path to recovery. 

Judah and Cecilia from Place2Be suggest taking the following steps if you are worried about your child's mental health:

• Pay attention to changes in your child's behaviour, mood, or routine. If you notice symptoms such as persistent sadness, irritability, changes in sleep or appetite, loss of interest in activities, or withdrawal from social interactions, it's important to talk to your child about what they are experiencing.
• Let your child know that you are there for them and that you are willing to listen. It's important to provide a supportive and non-judgmental environment where your child feels safe to express their feelings.
• Encourage your child to engage in physical activity, eat a healthy diet, and maintain a regular sleep schedule. These habits can have a positive impact on mental wellbeing.
• Learn about depression in children and adolescents. Understanding the condition can help you support your child better and work effectively with mental health professionals.
• Seek support for yourself. Supporting a child with depression can be challenging - it's essential to seek support for yourself, whether through friends, family, or a support group. Taking care of your own well-being will enable you to better support your child.
• Speak to your child’s school. Every school will have a designated mental health lead or will be aware of local support.  
• Speak to your GP. The CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) waiting times vary, and your GP may be aware of local services that can support your child. 

Dr Danielle adds: "It’s really important to talk openly with your children about any feelings or issues they may be going through, so it becomes part of daily life. Take time to understand how your child is making sense of their experiences and why they are struggling with difficult emotions. If your child does not want to talk, let them know you have noticed they are struggling and you’re there to listen."

If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, make an appointment to see your GP or contact Young Minds’ free parents’ helpline for advice on 0808 802 5544. You can also visit place2be.org.uk for advice for parents and carers.