A man wants to propose with a ring he designed for an ex, and the internet is outraged
His bride-to-be took to Reddit to ask if it was 'unreasonable' to reject an old engagement ring.
His bride-to-be took to Reddit to ask if it was 'unreasonable' to reject an old engagement ring.
If you’re a would-be bride, you’ve probably dreamed up a few romantic proposal scenarios, but we doubt this one would make the list.
Writing on Reddit’s bridezillas thread, one woman revealed that her boyfriend had recently asked ‘if I was okay with him giving me an old engagement ring’.
‘He and his ex had broken up about three years ago, and while he has dated girls between then and now, I was the first girl he saw a future with and wanted to marry,’ she explained.
Before her boyfriend and his ex broke up, he’d been planning to propose and had bought a customised ring from overseas, which he’d spent several thousand dollars on – not including the money spent flying back and forth.
‘He asked if I was okay with him giving me the old ring because it’s just been sitting in his cupboard, and he felt like there was finally a purpose to that old ring,’ she went on.
The poster admitted that she saw ‘the practicality’ of using the old ring, because they would be able to save the money he’d otherwise have to spend on a new ring on ‘other more important things like our house instead’.
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But, she confessed: ‘Something in my heart just can’t get over the fact that the ring was originally made for someone else in mind’.
She added that she suggested to her boyfriend that he should sell the old ring, but he was reluctant to make a loss because the ring itself was only worth a few hundred dollars.
Other users were quick to express their shock at the man’s request.
‘No girl! You’re not being unreasonable,’ wrote one. ‘Rings carry stories and history. If it’s not a story you want to carry around on your finger for the rest of your relationship, you are totally within your rights.’
‘For this ex: a customised ring that was so special he couldn’t source it locally and flew overseas to get it. For you: an unused ring sitting around in the cupboard,’ another pointed out. ‘Would I be cool with wearing a symbol of their failed relationship on my finger for the rest of my life? No. Would I be annoyed that he put so much effort into his ex and I get her sloppy seconds? Yes.’
‘Sometimes in life you just have to cut your losses and start fresh,’ advised another. ‘He should sell the ring, be done with it, then get a new one and cop whatever the loss is.’
But a jeweller might just have saved the day by suggesting a compromise: ‘I’d say keep the diamond and reset it. A diamond is a diamond and the mounting should be just for you.’
‘Great idea! I love the idea of repurposing the stone into a different piece of jewellery,’ the original poster replied.
Fingers crossed they'll find a solution!
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Samantha is a freelance writer at Goodto who has been with team since 2019. Initially trained in psychology, she specialises in health and wellbeing and has additionally written for magazines such as Women’s Health, Health & Wellbeing, Top Santé, Healthy, Refinery29, Cosmopolitan, Yahoo, CelebsNow, Good Housekeeping and Woman&Home.