Katie Price is perhaps more famously known for her relationship dramas these days than she is for her work as a model and business woman. Our Divorce Coach Sara Davison takes a look at just what the star has had to go through and how she can come through the other side...
On the surface three divorces by the age of 35 seems pretty irresponsible, however, dig a little deeper and there is so much more to it than scandalous behaviour and bad decisions. Katie Price announced on Twitter on 7 May 2014 that her 16 month marriage to Kieran Hayler was over. She sent a series of tweets explaining how she had discovered he was having an affair with her best friend. To make matters worse she is 6 months pregnant with their second child.
But in a rather surprising turn of events on Katie's 36th birthday (22 May 2014), after a long Twitter silence, Kieran tweeted Katie wishing her a Happy Birthday and pleading with her to take him back. The 27-year-old plasterer tweeted:
I want you back: The tweets Kieran sent to Katie on her 36th birthday, just two weeks after the affair was uncovered.
So far there has been no response from Katie's camp.
It doesn't matter who you are, heartbreak hurts. Couple it with betrayal and that is a double whammy that will rock even the strongest of people. Katie is openly a pretty tough cookie and has been on her own rollercoaster ride of ups and downs throughout her life and come out fighting each time. However, we're all human, celebrity or not, and to find out that two of the closest people in the world to you have violated your trust and betrayed you is one of the hardest emotions to deal with.
Katie and Kieran wed in the Bahamas last year after just a few months of dating. They already have 9-month-old baby Jett and another on the way.
So, what goes through your head in the early days of heartbreak and betrayal and how will Katie have felt?
Phase 1: Shock and Denial
The fact that your best friend and your husband have been having an affair for seven months means that a huge part of your life has been a lie. All the times you spent with your best friend during the affair come back to haunt you, the secrets you confided in her, the laughter that you shared, the moments she didn't answer her phone or call you back right away. You begin to question what personal and private details your husband told her about you. Were they laughing at you behind your back? Where they swapping knowing glances when you were all together?
'All the times you spent with your best friend during the affair come back to haunt you, the secrets you confided in her, the laughter that you shared, the moments she didn't answer her phone...'
Your mind will run wild trying to understand how and why it happened as the reality sinks in. You will search for answers to questions that you will never find. It's all part of the healing journey but at this early stage it is a painful and dark place to be. Heartbreak can even manifest as a physical pain that hits you in waves, and we're sure we've all experienced that horrible stomach-churning feeling at some time or another.
Katie's best friend of 20 years, Jane Poutney, was bridesmaid at both Katie's weddings to Kieran
(pictured above, second from right) and Alex Reid.
Phase 2: Anger and Desperation
Of course it's natural to be angry and you will find your anger switching between the pair of them. At times it will be directed towards your husband for breaking his wedding vows and the sanctity of your marriage. At other times the brunt of your emotions will focus on your best friend who you may have had a longer relationship with and trusted completely.
We all have different values, moral codes and tolerance levels in our relationships. For some this stage could be a time of weakness and there can be one last ditch attempt to salvage the relationship - whereas Katie seems to have made it pretty clear that she will divorce Kieran. While we do respect her decision to cut ties from someone who deceived her in this way, it's not always easy and straight forward when there are children involved too. It's a personal decision which takes guts either way.
Katie's certainly is no stranger to successful co-parenting with an ex as she does this with the two children she has with her first husband, Peter Andre, Junior and Princess. In the official statement she released on her website said she will support Kieran having a relationship with the children if he wants to.
Phase 3: Guilt and Depression
Everyone has their own way of coping when cold hard reality sets in. Katie has her children and a baby on the way to keep her busy and occupied. It is always good to be busy and distract from the negativity so that you don't fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself. It's so important that you do take time to face any negative emotions so that they don't fester, but not to wallow in them.
Katie was pictured without her wedding band after leaving the home of Jane and Derrick Poutney, where her and Kieran had both arrived and left seperately for an apparent showdown.
Phase 4: Acceptance
You never thought you'd get there, but this is when the light at the end of the tunnel starts to shine brighter. Acceptance comes when you have overcome the initial shock and have got used to the changes in your daily routine now you don't have your ex around. The jobs he used to do are being taken care of in other ways and you are calmer about your new situation.
It's normal to have wobbly moments but these become fewer and less frequent. Katie has a lot of support in her life and this will be key to helping her move through the healing process.
'Let's face it, Katie has always been the queen of moving on'
Phase 5: Moving on
Let's face it, Katie has always been the queen of moving on. After each relationship has come to an end she's always picked herself up, dusted herself off and got on. She got engaged to Kieran only 11 weeks after splitting from Argentinian model, Leandro Penna.
We have to admit that we've all judged Katie at times for her whirl-wind marriages, and have felt compelled to say 'I told you so' after it's all over so quickly. But we certainly can't say she's afraid to follow her heart, and we have to give it to her, it's pretty brave. We've probably all experienced times when the seemingly-most amazing person in your eyes turns out to be the complete opposite. We all deserve to be happy and if Katie thought she had found her Prince Charming at last then good for her for not wanting to let that go.
Katie (unlike us mere normals), has the added pressure of having to cope with break-ups under the intense glare of the media spotlight. And at a time when she's feeling confused and emotional she's expected to make comment and explain to the world what's happened.
'Just because Katie Price is famous doesn't mean that she doesn't feel like the rest of us do'
There are things we can all do to help us move on and cope better with a cheating ex, the betrayal of a best friend or the heartbreak of the end of a relationship:
- Take one day at a time. There may be lots of changes and adjustments happening but it's important to take each day as it comes. Take small steps and don't put pressure on yourself to solve all the issues today. Focus on getting through today as best you can and tomorrow is a fresh start
- Get a good team of people around you. This is especially important with a divorce as you'll need good legal and also financial advisors to call on as and when you need them. Think carefully about the friends and family you confide in and make sure they have your best interests at heart. Get a good Divorce Coach to help you navigate your divorce journey. Find a good therapist if you feel this would benefit you too. You may find it useful to get an exercise partner as regular exercise will help you keep strong, even if it's just a brisk walk in the park
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Avoid negative people as much as possible
- Plan your day so you are kept busy. If you are worried about being on your own in the evenings arrange to see friends or join a local club or gym
- Don't be afraid to cry. It is part of your healing process. It allows you release a lot of your negative emotion so that you can start to move forward and heal
- If there is a particular issue you are upset about then write it down on a piece of paper. Jot down how it makes you feel and what you don't like about it and why. Take that paper outside and burn it. As you do imagine that you are letting go of that issue and now it is part of your past. You will be amazed at how this helps de-intensify the problem
- Don't try to answer all the questions in your head at one time. Some you will never be able to answer. Avoid spending time on questions such as 'What's wrong with me?' or 'What did I do wrong?' Instead ask yourself more positively focused questions such as 'What can I do right now to help me through this?'
Unfortunately there's no magic wand to take the pain away. However by using these tips you'll be able to cope better and make the journey smoother.
Remember, however lonely you feel, there are a lot of other people going through similar experiences. Just because Katie Price is famous doesn't mean that she doesn't feel like the rest of us do. She may have the added pressure of breaking up in the headlines but she's not alone and there are plenty of us out here to prove that there is happiness after heartbreak.
Sara Davison is a life and business expert whose own personal experience led to her desire to specialise in heartbreak and divorce coaching, giving individuals with the tools, techniques and advice needed to journey through break-up and divorce. For more information visit saradavison.com.
Where to next?
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