'I'm obsessed with my horrible ex'

I have a child with my ex and I've been with him for 4 years.

We had a fantastic relationship at the beginning and we both planned to have our baby. When I was heavily pregnant, I found out he was texting a woman he used to see before we got together.

I don't know what the texts where about, but there were a lot of them, especially on Valentine's Day.

Eventually I went mad and threw him out and that's where I should have ended the relationship.

I didn't though and in time I forgave him and got the message across loud and clear if it was to happen again, then it would be the end of our relationship.

Six months later I caught him texting the same lady and I saw some of the texts saying they were gonna meet up.

Once again I went mad and threw him out, but in time he wormed his way back into my life. Over the next couple of years, we split up and got back together quite a few times, but last Christmas he left again and he hasn't been back.

He doesn't come and see his child really. and he is always letting him down. He doesn't pay maintenance any more and i am going through the CSA, but it's taking its time.

He tells me he loves me and our son more than anything, but his family don't want us to get back together. I can see from there point of view it will never work, and i probably know deep down in my heart it won't

I did meet someone else and went on a few dates, but my ex found out and then started to be all nice to me and, stupid me, I ended it with this new man.

I am pulling my hair out because I'm still so obsessed with my horrible ex. I feel it is all my fault and I don't know why. Please help me with some advice. Emma

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