It’s OK to feel stressed about the school holidays - but here’s why I’ll be embracing the joyful moments

Those long school holiday weeks are here, and anxiety over how to cope with them is real for many parents. I'm a writer and mum-of-two, and I'm attempting to reframe how I think about the summer holidays this year - and here's why.

The school holidays are here, and there's no denying the fact they're a monumental balancing act for a lot of families. I'm a mum of two boys aged 10 and 11, have just started a new job, and I'm very good at inwardly fretting and not asking for help - I feel the overwhelm of extended breaks from school keenly. My tried and tested method of coping with school holiday anxiety is to push it firmly to the back of my head and hope that it goes away. 

That's until the first day arrives and I realise that no matter how hard you manifest for something not to happen, that thing called time simply cannot be stopped and I end up wading through the long weeks on a wing and a prayer - and shredded nerves. I'm also one of those people who copes by scrolling comedy Instagram reels of other parents flexing over packing their kids off to the grandparents for two weeks, or crying over a calendar that ticks off the days until school starts again and they realise there's still 840 hours of the holidays left.

We do go on holiday, but I find packing stressful. I often end up feeling the dread of unpacking at the other end then re-packing to come back, and the subsequent mountains of laundry definitely aren't worth the hassle. If I've been super organised, my children might be off to a football camp or art club somewhere. But more often than not, I'll have spent more time worrying about someone's reaction to the ridiculous thing I said in 1996 than planning for the actual future - I'm that kind of worrier. This and other factors hinder my planning abilities and I'm faced with envy when other mums have packed way in advance and have 'hacks' for it, and have pre-planned a full enriching summer schedule while I'm ruminating on totally the wrong things.   

So this year, I'm trying something different. I'm attempting to cast my negativity aside and go full Marie Kondo on this school holidays. I'm going to push aside my negativity, give anxiety less headspace, and embrace the moments that spark joy. There might not be many and they might be a stretch, but at least trying to have a reframe can only be a good thing, right?

I don't know about you, but I'm the one who carries the bulk of the mental load (if you're a woman and you're reading this, I reckon there's a 98 per cent chance you're nodding.) My husband tends to favour weaponised incompetence around the house, so I'm the one who puts on my 'Dobby house elf' hat, and does literally everything domestic. This includes my nemeses - making lunchboxes and being a chef to various catering needs when my fellow housemates seem to think they deserve Michelin star food.

So not having to make lunchboxes - this will bring me intense joy akin to the likes of early Grey's Anatomy episodes. And when it comes to lunch and dinner, I'm going to spend some time teaching my offspring to cater for themselves and Dobby their own dinner together - this will bring me joy!

Sarcasm aside, it's carrying this mental load that's made me who I am - pretty much everything seems a chore and I struggle to find happiness in anything. Everything that could lead to happiness is constantly shrouded in overwhelm and the monumental effort to get there. I've let burdens get in the way of joy and cling to the wrong vices for coping mechanisms - it's just increased the apathy and worry that detaches me from being present.

I really will try to seek out more positive moments from every day. Several people have bought me those diaries where you write down one good thing from each day. While they've previously been tucked away in a drawer because the sight of them makes me cringe my eyeballs inside out, I will get them out and write down a genuinely happy moment. This can only be good for my mental health.

I have one child just about to leave primary school and the other will follow next year. They'll soon be pulling away from me to carve out more independent lives. I love this for them and although I miss the days of baby snuggles and head sniffing, I want a middle ground of celebrating how far they've come while appreciating they'll never be babies again. This means enjoying the both infuriating and delightful tween stage for what it is - a part of life I'll never get back and should make the most of before it's banked as another bygone era. The kids can go tween crazy this summer and I'll take in their quirks. 

I'll be grateful for any lie-ins I get and will give fewer cares to the packing and washing. I won't huff if the children want to do something that's messy or I'll find boring. I'll even try to be a better parent - I often click away from 'helpful' parenting content I see online, thinking 'nope. Ain't got time for that.' Probably because implementing the advice feels like another endless mountain to climb and not because I don't actually believe in it.

I need to ask more for help and not feel bad when the juggle actually becomes a struggle - I could even celebrate acknowledging that and turn it into a positive and not just another way I feel I've let myself feel like I've let myself and my children down. It'll be small steps and will take a total overhaul of how my brain is trained to think and react, but I'm looking forward to seeing what this summer holidays will bring.

We have plenty of days out ideas for this summer holidays, and entertainment ideas for if the weather is bad. There's also rainy day guarantees for some attractions, which is a handy thing to know about.