So your teen wants to take a gap year or go travelling. Now what?
Supporting your teen's gap year - practical steps to guide their adventure with confidence
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After all the stress leading up to A-Level results, your teen might drop a bombshell—they want to take a gap year. As a parent, this can trigger a whirlwind of emotions. Here’s how to navigate those feelings and see things from your teen’s perspective.
By this stage, your child has likely been in continuous education for most of their life. They’ve faced immense pressure to achieve good grades on A-level results day, but now they might feel they haven’t had the time to figure out what they truly want to do.
While you might worry that delaying their next steps in an increasingly competitive job market is risky, numerous studies have shown that gap years can be incredibly beneficial. They often help teens clarify their goals, develop their passions, and better prepare them for university. And according to one recent study, nearly half of UK parents don't think a university degree is worth the money, so a gap year can be the perfect time to reconsider all the options.
What are the benefits of a gap year?
Colleges report that students who take a year out tend to return more focused, engaged, and motivated. Universities also recognise that in an era of rising anxiety among young people, a gap year can be a valuable opportunity for them to step outside their comfort zone, gain independence, and build resilience.
Dr. Shahzad Rahman, Deputy Head Pastoral at Stephen Perse Cambridge, notes, “If your child is worried about falling behind, remind them that a gap year is a unique chance to discover more about themselves. With less pressure from exams, they have the time to reflect on what really interests them. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, job, or volunteering, these experiences can significantly boost their confidence.”
Chris Rea, a student careers expert at Prospects.ac.uk, points out that gap years come in many forms. “It’s not just about traveling or working abroad. A productive gap year can happen close to home too," he says. "What matters most is what your teen learns and how the experience supports their career development. Align it with long-term goals, set a return date, and plan the next steps. This helps maintain focus and momentum.”
A well-structured gap year can also impress universities and employers. “Taking a gap year demonstrates curiosity and a willingness to embrace the unknown, traits that are impressive to both universities and employers," says Vish Ungapen of Quizlet. "Skills gained—like volunteering, learning new languages, or exploring different cultures—are incredibly valuable on a CV.”
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How easy is it to defer a university place?
If your child secured a place at university on Results Day, they can defer entry for a year. This can be done either at the time of application or after receiving a confirmed offer. However, it’s crucial to check with the university or college to ensure they are on board with the deferral.
Oliver Sidwell, Co-Founder of RateMyPlacement, suggests that after school is the perfect time for a gap year. “Delaying or deferring university isn’t an issue and can provide invaluable life experience. This can also be a great talking point when they meet new people at university.”
It’s important to remember that life plans can change. Chris Rea notes, “Even with a university place secured, your teen might change their mind during their gap year. Our Early Careers Survey shows that 39% of students change their career plans within a year.”
Ultimately, this is your teen's journey, and they need to make decisions that are right for them.
What are the options for a gap year?
- Volunteering: Teaching, building schools in developing countries, or contributing to wildlife conservation projects can provide life-changing experiences.
- Travel: Exploring the world fosters independence and essential life skills for university. Travel agencies can help set up flexible working holidays.
- Internships: Gaining work experience or internships at home can enhance your teen’s career prospects without leaving the country.
- Part-time courses: A gap year is a chance to learn something new—whether it’s a language, programming, a sport, or a practical skill like carpentry or cookery.
Tips for the gap year conversation
If the news that your teen wants to take a gap year comes a surprise, you might want to take a moment to let it sink in. But remember, your role as a parent is to guide your teen toward becoming an independent adult. Here are some tips for a positive, healthy conversation about their plans:
- Listen to their reasons: This is a pivotal moment for your teen to assert their independence. Show that you trust their ability to plan and take care of themselves.
- Avoid seeing a gap year as a detour: Education doesn’t just happen in classrooms. A well-planned, challenging gap year can enhance leadership and problem-solving skills.
- Share your perspective: Emphasise that this is a formative time, and it's important that your teen makes the most of it. Encourage them to structure their time meaningfully.
- Let them do the planning: The logistics of planning, booking, budgeting, and earning money are as educational as the trip itself.
- Assess their readiness for university: Just because your teen has the grades doesn’t mean they’re ready for university life. If they still need time to mature, don’t rush them.
- Put the risk in perspective: Gap year accidents might make headlines, but statistically, teens aren’t at much higher risk abroad. Consider a safety course if you’re concerned.
- Support their decisions: If your teen is reconsidering university, have an open conversation. Success doesn’t always require a degree.
- Monitor their well-being: If your teen seems unmotivated or unwilling to make plans, consider whether they might need support for depression or other issues.
Worried about their safety while travelling?
- Get perspective: The idea of your child being in a different country for the first time can be nerve-wracking. But this experience is likely to be empowering for them.
- Plan together: Set up a schedule for regular check-ins. Agree on a frequency that works for both of you and consider using location-sharing apps for peace of mind.
- Create a contact list: Help them compile a list of local authorities, nearby friends or relatives, and the nearest embassy or consulate.
A gap year real-life experience
Kay Worboys, a psychotherapist from Bromley, Kent, learned that her son Josh, 20, was taking a gap year just after he accepted his university place on Results Day.
“He didn’t discuss it with us beforehand; he just told us he was deferring to take a year off to travel," she says. "I was thrilled for him. I travelled a lot in my 20s, and it was the best education I could have had. If he had changed his mind about university, that would have been his decision, and we would have supported him regardless. You can’t force someone to go to university if they don’t want to.”
In the thick of raising teenagers? Do you agree that parenting teenagers is just as difficult as raising a baby or that strong-willed teens need to be nurtured rather than tamed? For more practical guidance on parenting teens, check out 11 expert-led tips on how to talk to a teenager or 9 ways to let teenagers take positive risks this summer.
Tanith Carey is a journalist and parenting expert. The author of 11 books, she is a former US correspondent for the Daily Mirror and a former London Press Club Consumer Journalist of the Year. Her work covers the topics of parenting, childhood, teenagers, child psychology, veganism, social trends, health, relationships, and psychosexual development.
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