Sarah Swann, 44, and her husband spent £60,000 to fulfil their dreams of parenthood. Here, she shares their story...
Logging into my banking app, I transferred money into my savings, just like every payday. It was September 2014, and alongside working full-time in retail, I also worked part-time as a DJ. I loved hyping up crowds at parties and nightclubs. But I was very sensible when it came to finances, and so was my husband Paul, a landscape gardener.
We’d gone without holidays to buy our home together in Hertfordshire in 2009, and while we had a credit card for emergencies, we rarely used it. Now, as we checked our joint savings account, I said, "We’re building up a nice nest egg," and Paul and I exchanged excited smiles.
Having married in June 2014, after knowing each other since secondary school, we’d decided to start a family. Our savings would be invaluable for buying essentials like a cot, pram and highchair. But months passed. "It will happen soon, don’t worry," Paul reassured me in January 2015, as we stared in disappointment at another negative pregnancy test.
"We were put on the waiting list for IVF treatment"
After two years without success, our GP referred us for fertility tests. With no clear answers, we were put on the waiting list for IVF treatment and three years drifted by before our first appointment at Bourn Hall Clinic, in February 2020, when I was 40.
The first cycle of treatment, which was NHS-funded, required medication and injections to stimulate egg production, before multiple eggs were harvested, four of which were used to create and freeze precious embryos. Sadly, they remained on ice, due to the COVID-19 lockdowns, and we had our first embryo transfer in October 2020. But a negative pregnancy test two weeks later dashed our hopes, which was so upsetting, particularly because so many of our friends were having babies.
"Why isn’t it happening for us?" I’d cry to Paul. After the NHS-funded cycle, we dipped into our savings to pay for further treatments. Over the next two years, we had three further cycles of unsuccessful IVF, costing up to £10,000 a time. By early 2022, we were researching other options including a clinic in Prague, which offered different treatment plans and protocols. However, further treatment would have serious financial implications.
"I broke down as Paul wrapped his arms around me. Days later, I miscarried "
Although we both worked full-time, the cost of fertility treatment was a real worry. "Our savings account will be empty soon," I sighed to Paul in February 2022 as we booked flights to Prague, withdrawing thousands of pounds to fund treatment.
An initial transfer of two embryos was unsuccessful and by summer, our fertility specialist in Prague had prescribed so many different tablets and injections that I needed to wheel a small suitcase around when I visited venues for work. That autumn, having spent around £40,000, our savings had officially run out. With our monthly earnings needed to pay our mortgage and bills, we only had one option left. 'We’ll have to pay for the next IVF cycle on our credit card,’ Paul sighed.
We’d had always worked hard to avoid debt but, then aged 42 and 46, it felt like time was running out. We flew to Prague in October 2022 for another embryo transfer, putting the £2,500 cost on our credit card. Incredibly, a pregnancy test two weeks later was positive.
However, during a viability scan at a private clinic in late November 2022, we were warned that the embryo was worryingly small and. At our 12-week scan at the Lister Hospital, Stevenage, in December 2022 there was no heartbeat. I broke down as Paul wrapped his arms around me. Days later, I miscarried at home, which was awful. But one thing kept us going. "At least now we know we can conceive," I told Paul.
"Seeing my bump grow felt like a dream come true"
Our specialist in Prague suggested a new combination of medication, and we paid for one more round of treatment on our credit card, taking our total spend to £60,000. Our quest to have a baby had decimated our savings and landed us in debt.
"If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what we’ll do," I sighed, flying out to Prague for our final embryo transfer in June 2023. But back home, a pregnancy test revealed I was two weeks pregnant.
We stopped ourselves getting too excited until an early six-week scan, which we paid for privately. I prepared myself for more heartache until the sonographer smiled and said, "Congratulations, Mama... That’s a strong, healthy heartbeat." At our 20-week scan, we saw a little face and limbs on the screen, and at 26 weeks, we shared the news with family and friends, and finally bought a cot and pram.
Feeling my baby’s kicks and seeing my bump grow felt like a dream come true. And on 1 February 2024, Paul held my hand at Lister Hospital as our daughter Lily May Eve was delivered by C-section, weighing 7lb 3oz.
Lily's arrival was well worth the long wait
"I’m your mummy," I wept, as she was placed gently in my arms. Taking Lily home the next day was wonderful. She was a dream baby, feeding and sleeping well but even the occasional difficult nights were manageable because, after all, we’d waited a long time to be able to talk about having sleepless nights with our newborn.
Now aged five months, our girl is a little smiler who brings us constant joy. She was worth the wait and expense. We know some people may judge us for spending £60,000 on getting our baby. We won’t be enjoying lavish holidays because we’ll be paying off our credit card debt for years to come, but we’re happy. Aside from the essentials, babies really only need love – and that’s something we have in endless supply.
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This feature was originally published in August 2024 in Woman's Own, which is also owned by Future Publishing.
