I’m a teen expert, and here’s why I refused to pay my teenagers for getting 'good' exam grades

Are you about to empty your bank account this exam results day because you agreed to pay per 'good grade'? No judgment here, many parents do this. Teen expert Sarah Ockwell Smith paid per pass and here's what she needs you to know...

I get it, exams are a stressful time for your teenagers, whether they're waiting on GCSE results or concerned with how to appeal A-Level results and what to do in clearing, it's a tricky time, but know you're not alone a lot of families are feeling this too.

In my family, my own teens were always celebrated after results, regardless of the grade. For their GCSEs we gave them £20 for each exam they passed, no matter the grade, an A* was worth the same as an E. The £200 was significantly more affordable than the £1000 some of their peers received, but still allowed them to buy themselves something to celebrate.

Financially motivating your teen to get the best results is a popular practice, one hundred and fifty million pounds are set to be given to teenagers this month, by their parents, in celebration of their exam results. A quarter of parents surveyed said that they intended to reward their son or daughter financially for doing well in the GCSE results (due out this year on August 22nd, with A-Level results published on August 15th).

The standard approach usually involves offering a sliding scale of cash incentives based on grades achieved, as follows

• Grade A* (8 or 9) – £120
• Grade A (7) - £100
• Grade B (6) - £80
• Grade C (5)- £60
• Grade D (4) – 40
• Grade E (3) - £20

Theoretically, a teen taking their GCSEs this year could receive over one thousand pounds from their parents if they hit all grade As. While this cash boost is usually well received by teens, many experts, including myself, have criticised this approach and believe that it can do more harm than good. Here are my top five reasons why I am not a fan of rewarding based on exam grades:

1. Rewards damage Intrinsic Motivation

Motivation, particularly surrounding education, can be broken into two distinct types: intrinsic and extrinsic.

Intrinsic motivation is an internal drive to succeed. It happens when a student is keen to better themselves and works hard to improve their grades because of the sense of achievement they bring.

Extrinsic motivation is motivation that is externally controlled, usually by punishments and rewards. The student is either motivated to do better to avoid detentions, grounding, or other unpleasant consequences, or they are motivated to do better because they want a reward that is on offer to them (which may be something like a class party for younger children but is usually cash for teens).

While it sounds as if extrinsic motivational tools should work well, the research is not so positive, with many studies, like this one from the National Instituted of Health (NIH) indicating that extrinsic motivation methods are not only unreliable in terms of their effectiveness, but that they can also damage a student’s internal drive to succeed.

In short, the more you bribe a teen to work hard, the more they are likely to struggle with their own innate motivate to study. Research looking at the impact of rewarding students who study for their GCSEs has found no positive impact on exam results.

2. Financial rewards are not possible for many families

In a cost-of-living crisis, the financial pressure on families is already immense. The trend to reward teens for exam results shows a sharp divide between those families who can afford to pay and those who can’t, and the inequality here can often cause those from lower socio-economic background families to feel left out, potentially driving wedges in friendships.

Parents should not have to have yet another strain on their household budget, especially not when the amounts that some pay out to students could pay for half a years’ worth of gas and electricity for an average family home. Most importantly, parents shouldn’t feel guilty because they can’t give their teens something that their peers are receiving.

3. Rewarding based on grades achieved is ableist

Rewarding teens for doing well in their exams is short-sighted, because it misses the struggles that many experience at school. Those students who are neurodivergent, have a special educational need or disability (SEND), or those who have missed a lot of time because of illness or injury, may achieve lower grades because of their medical needs, a lack of SEND support, or a delayed diagnosis.

None of this is their fault and yet they are likely to receive less cash than their peers. The ableism (discrimination based on physical, psychological, or learning disability) here teaches our teens a poor lesson in life; that those who are physically and mentally able are worth more than those who are not. I don’t believe this message is one most parents want to give to their teens, and yet that is exactly what happens when we reward exam results financially.

4. Grades based rewards can damage sibling relationships

For those families who have more than one child, rewarding exam results financially is likely to mean that each sibling receives a different amount of cash. This may be fair if the rewards were genuinely based upon effort, but in reality they aren’t. Children all have different gifts, skills, and abilities, even siblings. Some will excel in the arts, some in sport, some academically.

Rewarding exam results however only focuses on the latter. If one sibling is academically gifted and the other struggles then arguably it is the teen who struggles but works hard to achieve a flurry of Ds, rather than their sibling who cruises through to an array of As with little effort because of their natural ability, who deserves more and yet with this approach they will receive significantly less. In addition, this inequality can also cause rifts in sibling relationships, when one teen feels that they are valued less than another in the same family.

5. Parents can create an ‘if-then’ individual

When parents reward academically they usually aren’t thinking beyond the current exam results, however if they start rewarding for GCSE results, they start an expectation of doing the same for A-Levels, or BTECs, undergraduate and even postgraduate study.

Where is the line drawn? Rewarding can often create a teen who asks, “IF I do this, THEN what will you give me?.” The ‘if-then’ individual is not one who is internally motivated and at some point, when the rewards are taken away they have little left to motivate them.

Main takeaway

Does this mean that you shouldn’t celebrate your teen’s exam results? Absolutely not! It just means taking a more measured and equitable approach. If this is out of reach for you financially please don’t worry, a card with a handwritten note and cooking their favourite meal will likely be equally as appreciated. It is this pride and appreciation that ultimately is the key to increasing intrinsic motivation, and ultimately academic achievement.

Sarah is a GoodtoKnow expert, a mum-of-four and author of many a child development book, including tweens and teens, she creates engaging, relatable and helpful teen content such as busting the myth that 'teenagers are lazy' that will make you feel relief, and tips to get your teen to revise will make you realise it's not just you. Plus her insight into why teenagers never leave their room is hugely relatable - send to anyone in your life with a teen.