Tricky back-to-school transitions? Dr Becky shares the one thing your kid needs (spoiler: it's not the new school bag)

Dr Becky has revealed the one thing parents need to teach their kids ahead of back to school season to best prepare them for their lessons. 

The main focus of back to school season seems to be getting together all the necessities kids need to best take on their lessons; from the best new school shoes to the best school bag to hold all their new stationary and lunch boxes. But while all those things are practical and important, Dr Becky has reminded parents that you can't buy the 'most important' thing they need; confidence. 

"The 'right' way to go back to school has nothing to do with brand-new backpacks, a million after-school activities, or a perfect first day outfit," she said on Instagram. "What if I told you that kids' back to school confidence has nothing to do with their first day outfit. It has nothing to do with whether or not their best friend is in their class. And it has nothing to do with whether or not they get a new backpack. 

"The thing that matters the most is your kid being prepared with the emotional coping skills necessary to manage hard moments. I want every parent to know this for the transition back to school; Your kid's back to school confidence has to do with their emotional coping skills."

She explains that a child's ability to manage the 'inevitable disappointments' that happen during back to school season is the best skill parents can give to support their child. Whether there's a morning drop-off on a day they really don't want to go into classes, or a playtime where they can't find anyone to play with, or a piece of homework that's 'very challenging,' she explains that as long as they have the confidence given by healthy emotional coping skills, they'll be able to handle it all. 

Building emotional coping skills is not something that can be done overnight so, in the run up to September, here are some things you can start building on now to get kids prepared.

Speaking to GoodToKnow previously about how to raise confident kids, BACP registered psychotherapist, Natasha Page revealed positive reinforcement is vital in showing kids how best to handle difficult situations well. "By acknowledging and praising their efforts and achievements it helps them to foster a positive self-image," she explained.

She added that modelling self-confidence is another great way to show kids to do the same. She said "Be a role model for self-confidence. If you are able to demonstrate positive self-esteem to your children, they will be able to sense this. Being confident in your own abilities enables your children to emulate your actions." 

Speaking about how to raise resilient kids, Lauren Brown, a former Primary School Deputy Headteacher, told GoodToKnow, "One of the most important ways to build resilience in children is by focusing on building strong, trusting relationships. When children have at least one stable, supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult, they are more likely to take risks, step outside their comfort zone and manage stress because they know that this person will be there to support them."

She added, "Parents can help develop this bond by spending regular one-to-one time with them, without the distraction of phones or work. Play games, complete activities, or exercise together so that they can see you solving problems, overcoming difficulties, and trying new things. They will learn from your behaviour, by spending this time together building your bond."

As back to school season approaches, we've got you covered with 19 great first day of school traditions to do with your kids and the best back-to-school supplies for 2024 as recommended by parents. Plus, teachers reveal the best ways to get your children back-to-school ready – and why you should never pack their bags for them.