Things kids do that drive you mad and why it's not their fault (it's down to their genes, says science)

It's nothing to do with 'bad parenting'

Child with head on the table in front of a plate of vegetables
(Image credit: Getty Images)

There's many things kids do to that are blamed on poor parenting. However, some things children do to drive us mad are actually down to genetics, according to search.

If traits passed on by your parents such as poor memory and infertility can be blamed on genetics, there's no reason other common behaviours our kids display regularly can't be put down to the same genes - and science proves they can be. From fussy eating to school reports suggesting your child isn't applying themselves in the way you'd hoped, society can be quick to judge and blame bad parenting. Your parenting style has nothing to do with a lot of these behaviours - it's all genetics.

Psychologist and geneticist, Robert Plomin, is the pioneer of concepts relating to heritability – or, how many differences between individuals can be explained by inherited DNA. His research based on genetics being responsible for more of the psychological differences between us than anything else, found heritability plays the biggest part in everything from personality to mental ability. He also asserts that very little of our behaviours and personality traits are related to our environment, placing most of these firmly at the feet of genetic makeup. 

According to The Telegraph, public perception still holds society responsible for traits deemed difficult - or for a reason to pull out the tired trope 'let's blame the parents.' Plomin carried out a survey to compare public views on who or what is responsible for human behviour when it comes to nature vs genes, comparing this to his own findings - with very interesting results. Here's an overview of the percentage genetics are thought to be responsible for certain things our kids do (or don't do.)

  • Fussy eating - genetics 80% responsible
  • Reading ability - genetics 60 per cent responsible
  • Spatial awareness - genetics 70 per cent responsible
  • School achievement - genetics 60 per cent responsible
  • Eye colour and other obviously inherited traits - genetics 96% responsible

Plomin says modern genetics offers the "Power to predict our psychological strengths and weaknesses from birth," offering fortune telling abilities when it comes to a "polygenic score." Even when it comes to the likelihood of developing a range of mental health conditions, or becoming obese, Plomin concedes "I do not know of a single psychological trait that does not show genetic influence."

Therefore, when looking at the classic nature vs nurture debate, these findings appear to cement nature as predominantly responsible for pretty much every decision and trait a person will develop. However, it will never be 100 per cent responsible, and it's worth adding that nurture will certainly be required to help individuals overcome any traits or behaviours negatively impacting their lives.

For more on this topic, research also show which parent is more likely to pass down Alzheimer's, and how you inherit your grandparent's trauma - even if you never met them. Do you often hear the phrase 'just like mum'? Further research reveals where unique traits come from; mum or dad.    

Lucy Wigley
Parenting writer - contributing

Lucy is a mum-of-two, multi-award nominated writer and blogger with six years’ of experience writing about parenting, family life, and TV. Lucy has contributed content to PopSugar and moms.com. In the last three years, she has transformed her passion for streaming countless hours of television into specialising in entertainment writing. There is now nothing she loves more than watching the best shows on television and sharing why you - and your kids - should watch them.