'Sex education in schools is failing' as young people turn to porn to learn, research shows - here's how to approach the topic with your kids

New research has shared the failings of sex education in schools and the impact this is having on young people.

Knowing how to talk to your child about sex or other topics that come up as they hit puberty - such as talking about periods - isn't easy, and it's understandable if you and your kids find it a little uncomfortable at first. But with the news that the failures of conventional sex education are resulting in more young people learning from online pornography, being able to discuss these topics is important - especially if you expect your teen to start dating any time soon.

A new report from The Women and Equalities Committee found that "children are being exposed to unacceptable risks because they are learning about sex and relationships online rather than in the classroom". In addition, MPs said there is "compelling evidence that relationships and sex education is failing young people". They also criticised the government for "failing to heed warnings", with funding for sexual health services reducing year-on-year.

Other findings included worrying increases in the prevalence of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in young people, with gonorrhoea cases rising to 82,592 in 2022 - the highest number since records began in 1918. Elsewhere, infectious syphilis diagnoses increased to 8,692 in 2022 - the largest annual number since 1948 - and overall there were 392,453 diagnoses of new STIs in England in 2022 (more than 1,000 a day).

Caroline Nokes, Conservative MP and chair of the Women and Equalities Committee, called the figures a "red flag" and said: "Sexual health services are at breaking point. They are underfunded and in many cases unable to provide the services their local area needs.

"It is not sustainable and an obvious false economy to substantially reduce funding for sexual health services during a period of increasing demand upon them."

A government spokesperson said: "In 2020 we made it compulsory for all secondary schools to offer relationships and sex education to ensure that young people are equipped to make safe, informed and healthy choices.

"Content includes information about safer sex and contraception and how these can reduce STIs.

"This year we have allocated more than £3.5bn to local authorities in England to fund public health services, including sexual health services, and this funding will increase in each of the next three years."

Among the report's recommendations, The Women and Equalities Committee says that the government should increase spending on sexual health services, awareness campaigns on STI prevention among young people and the benefits of condom use. In addition, it advises that the Government should work to improve the teaching of sex education, set out plans to reverse the reduction in school nurses and step up its efforts to increase take up of the HPV vaccine.

Meanwhile, if you're worried about your child viewing or accessing porn online, children's charity Action for Children has shared some tips for approaching the conversation:

• You don’t need to approach this as a big conversation. Think about it more as creating a safe space where porn isn’t a taboo subject.
• Talk about it every now and again. Don’t wait until you think they have already seen something or if it has become a problem. If possible, start talking about it before they have access to a smartphone or tablet.
• Make the conversation age appropriate. You can discuss more as they get older.
• Acknowledge the awkwardness. Your child will probably feel embarrassed that you’ve raised it, let them know that that’s ok.
• Think about what you want to talk about and don’t try to do too much in one go. Try not to bombard them with information or quiz them about what they may have seen. Leave things with them to think about or come back to you with. 
• Reassure them that it is ok to feel curious about sex but explain that porn is unrealistic and that it can be harmful for them to watch it.
• Communicate in a way that feels natural to you and your child. If you text, email or video call, you could have the whole conversation over that. It doesn’t have to be a sit-down conversation.

If you have concerns that your child may be addicted or have an unhealthy interest in pornography, you could talk to your GP or a sexual health clinic. Elsewhere, The Naked Truth Project has more support for parents to talk to children about porn.

For more advice on tackling difficult topics with your kids, here are seven child-therapist-approved ways to talk to your kids about feelings, and one expert has revealed five important things you should talk to your teen about before they start dating. Elsewhere, we've rounded up 25 teen conversation starters to help you connect with older kids.