"But I keep my phone face down" - new study says this still damages relationships, and here's why

The results of the study are surprising

Hand reaching for a phone on a table
(Image credit: Getty Images)

You might think putting your phone face down gives the impression of offering your full attention, but research says it really indicates something quite different.

In this digital age parents are aware their phone addiction could be impacting family life, and want to take measures to stop this. It's understandable that with a life revolving around technology, looking at your phone isn't so much of a compulsion but a necessity - important emails need answering, and class WhatsApp groups let you know all the important things that need to be taken into school, and phone use needs to be understood and not judged.

When setting healthy habits for phone use and wanting to model how to reduce screen time for their kids, some parents might choose to put their phone face down to indicate it no longer has their attention.

However, discussing what she terms the Face-Down Phone Theory, wellness expert Liz Moody shares that a study found technology at the table in any form actually caused more distraction and made people feel less socially engaged.

Speaking on Instagram, Liz suggests that whether your phone is face up or down, the presence of the device is enough to take your attention away from what you want to focus on. Sharing a conversation with entrepreneur Sahil Bloom, the pair discuss the study findings with Sahil saying "Science shows that if I have my phone out while we're having a conversation, our feelings of connection are diminished significantly."

He adds "There's a separation between us that doesn't exist if the phone doesn't exist. Even having your phone out is a thing that blocks true human connection from being cultivated, and now think about that with your dearest relationships. Think about having your phone out in front of your kid, and having your phone out in front of your spouse."

Sahil refers to the potential outcome of years of this distraction as "terrifying." However, not everyone in the comments were convinced and his comments did receive a level of backlash.

One person wrote "Let me tell you how this is all a matter of perspective. Because where I come from, this is also a sign of respect and consideration for the other person. To let them know they have your full undivided attention having placed the phone there faced down… These 'professionals' act like they've introduced new concepts and it's just plain manners and etiquette that people unfortunately are losing."

Another responded with "I get it. When I go on a date, I Never have my phone out of my purse. Guys comment on this and say how rare it is. If I can't give someone a couple hours of my undivided attention, that's pretty sad."

For more on screens, there are benefits of screen time, despite all the studies saying the opposite. But for teens spending more time online, parents need to be particularly aware of the rise in undress AI and sextortion scams affecting this age group.

Lucy Wigley
Parenting writer - contributing

Lucy is a mum-of-two, multi-award nominated writer and blogger with six years’ of experience writing about parenting, family life, and TV. Lucy has contributed content to PopSugar and moms.com. In the last three years, she has transformed her passion for streaming countless hours of television into specialising in entertainment writing. There is now nothing she loves more than watching the best shows on television and sharing why you - and your kids - should watch them.