Is there any truth to the lonely and narcissistic ‘only child’ stereotype? New research suggests not

Having or not having siblings can massively affect a child's personality traits and well-being, but not necessarily in the stereotypical way we think

Close up of child holding hands with parent
(Image credit: Getty Images)

New research has challenged the long-held stereotype that only children tend to be 'lonely and narcissistic,' with the study shining new light on how not having siblings affects children's personality traits and well-being.

Whether you grew up with or without siblings, it's almost a given that who you are as a person has been shaped by the experience. From the 7 traits you probably have now if you grew up as an 'only child' to the way many kids suffer with 'middle-child syndrome', the people you grow up around, or who you don't grow up around, can have a profound impact on you in adulthood - but perhaps not always in the way we've come to think.

That's because new research has revealed that while we've grown to stereotype only children as kids who struggle to share, play well in groups, and connect with others, they're actually doing 'just fine.'

Researchers at University College London’s Faculty of Education and Society followed the lives of middle children right up until they hit middle-age, analysing their behaviours, their outlook on life, and even their physical health. The results? There's very little difference between them and their counterparts who have siblings.

In fact, the research shows that all of our misconceptions around only children are completely wrong; they're not more narcissistic, actually report less loneliness, and are as happy as or happier than those with siblings.

One difference that appeared in the data was that when only children reach middle age, they are more likely than those with siblings to provide care for their ageing parents as they're the only one to be relied on. However, the researchers found that the well-being of only children was not affected by these caring responsibilities falling only on them, which challenged the preconceived notions of the researchers.

It led them to conclude, "Unlike the outdated preconceptions and stereotypes about only children, the findings from our project thus suggest an overall reassuring picture of UK only children’s lives and outcomes."

It's not the only research that's recently debunked the myths surrounding only children. Speaking to Good Housekeeping earlier this year, psychologist Susan Newman spoke about a study that had revealed there's no reliable scientific evidence that being an only child affects ‘personality, behaviour, or well-being’, saying, "The differences between 'onlies' and those raised with siblings are minimal or non-existent."

She explained, "How a child turns out has more to do with the way parents are raising them than it does with how many siblings they have. Particularly today with the advent of technology. Only children are not as lonely as they are connected all the time through texting and social media. All the tech has reduced the amount of loneliness not only for only children but all children."

Overall, the research is hugely reassuring for 'one-and-done' parents, though there are other studies that have hinted at interesting ways having or not having siblings can impact a child's life. For one, there's the way siblings impact your love life with ‘only children’ consistently following the same dating pattern. And, these are the 13 traits experienced by adults who were lonely children, according to a psychologist.

News writer

Charlie Elizabeth Culverhouse is a news writer for Goodtoknow, specialising in family content. She began her freelance journalism career after graduating from Nottingham Trent University with an MA in Magazine Journalism, receiving an NCTJ diploma, and earning a First Class BA (Hons) in Journalism at the British and Irish Modern Music Institute. She has also worked with BBC Good Food and The Independent.