The 'incredibly helpful' 30-second rule – liked by nearly 2 million people – that your kid needs to know about

If someone can’t change something about themselves in under 30 seconds, it’s best not to mention it, one teacher advises her students. 

We want to instill positive traits in our children, that allow them to grow up into healthy, well-rounded adults. From how to raise happy kids, to confident and resilient kids,  parents often seek resources to help their children be the best version of themselves. 

You can do this in many ways, but implementing simple rules to help kids be kind is a good place to start instilling good habits. One such kindness rule has proved popular on social media in recent weeks, with almost two million likes on Instagram so far, and it’s so easy to remember. It’s well worth showing your children – and we can keep it in mind as adults, too!

Natalie Ringold, an elementary school teacher in Minnesota, posted a video of herself explaining the rule to her class. In the clip, she says, “If somebody can’t change something about themselves in 30 seconds or less, then you shouldn’t be mentioning it to them.”

For example, telling someone that their shoes are untied or their trousers are unzipped is kind and helpful, because they can solve the problem in under 30 seconds before going about their day again. In contrast, says Ringold, “If you comment on someone’s hair colour, or hair texture, or hairstyle, or body, they cannot change that in 30 seconds or less.

She compares making comments about things people can’t change to squeezing toothpaste out of the tube – you can’t take them back and undo your actions, just as you can’t put toothpaste back in the tube. “It’s very messy,” she explains, “You can’t totally take those words back.”

It seems obvious, and makes perfect sense, but we’ve all made a comment at one time or another that could have hurt somebody. So, it’s a good rule to show your children – it might make them consider how they use their words, and what they say to the people in their lives. 

Ringold also writes in her caption that it’s important to make things right by apologising when you make a mistake – if someone’s feelings get hurt, it’s not the end of the world, and while you can’t take back what’s been sent, an apology will go some way to making them feel better. 

In related news, child psychologist Dr Becky explains how to support a child with ‘explosive’ emotions, while if you’re raising an anxious kid, here are six things that mental health experts want parents to know. We’ve also got six signs, identified by a child expert, that you’re raising an emotionally intelligent child, as well as three tips to set screen time boundaries from parenting experts.