50 best Christmas jokes that are hilarious for kids and adults (we think #37 is the funniest)

Christmas jokes can break the ice at any festive event - be it family or work. Get ready to ho, ho, ho...

It's time to unleash the jolly with our selection of Christmas jokes for kids, and adults too. From knock-knock jokes that will sleigh you to groan-friendly elf puns, these gift-wrapped Christmas crackers are ready to pull out at any time. 

"I love a good Christmas joke, it just puts everyone in a good mood, or better yet it makes them competitive and they need to out-joke you - either way, Christmas jokes are here for the win." Mum-of-two Kiran tells us.

So park the knock-knock jokes, and dad jokes for now, and - while they love ‘em - the riddles for kids can take a break too. It’s all about Christmas jokes, tinsel, trees, baubles and elves - perfect for brightening any holiday season.

Christmas jokes for kids and adults

Whether it's a knock-knock, Santa Claus or Christmas tree joke you're after, we've got you covered.  And, because they're children's Christmas jokes, they're all PG too.

Santa Claus jokes

1. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘hohoho’.
2. Why doesn’t Santa drink reindeer milk? Because he’s on a deery-free diet.
3. How did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.
4. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
5. What do you call a Santa living at the South Pole? A lost Claus.

6. What's St. Nick's favourite measurement in the metric system? The Santametre
7. What is Santa’s drag name? Sleigh Queen.
8. What does Santa spend his money on? Jingle bills.
9. What goes ‘Oh, oh, oh’? Santa walking backwards.
10. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they're Santa's star bucks!

Christmas tree jokes

11. What do Christmas trees get when they go numb? Pines and needles.
12. What do Christmas trees wear at the pool? Trunks.
13. What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies? Spruce Willis.
14. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
15. Why did the Christmas tree go to the Dr? It was feeling green.

16. What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree? Faux Fir.
17. What looks like half a Christmas tree? The other half.
18. What’s a Christmas tree's favourite sweet? Orna-mints.
19. Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
20. What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started its own branch.

Christmas Cracker jokes

21. What do angry mice send each other at Christmas? Cross mouse cards.
22. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.
23. Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist? He had low elf esteem.
24. How did Scrooge win the football game? The Ghost of Christmas passed.
25. Did Rudolph go to school? No, he was elf-taught.

26. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy.
27. How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? 25 - because there’s no L.
28. What do you call a deer who can’t see? No eye deer.
29. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsellitis.
30. What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerky.

Christmas knock-knock jokes

31. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
32. Knock, knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are coming holly-days are coming.
33. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Your Santa impression needs a little work!
34. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
35. Knock, knock Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

36. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!
37. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska Santa for a new bike.
38. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah partridge in a pear tree.
39. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Rabbit. Rabbit who? Rabbit up carefully, it’s a present.
40. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary and Abbey. Mary and Abbey who? Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Christmas elf jokes

41. What make of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.
42. What's the first thing elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
43. Why did the elf sleep in the fireplace? Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
44. What do you call an elf who learns independently? Elf-taught.
45. What's the best way to gain confidence? To believe in your elf.

46. What is elves' favourite sport? Miniature golf.
47. What do you do if you can't hire a professional? Do it your elf.
48. What goes inside elves' pointy shoes? Their mistletoes.
49. What do you get when an elf passes wind? Jingle smells.
50. What do you call an elf who wins the lottery? Welfy.

Get more side-splitting children's Christmas jokes, from one-liners and dad jokes perfect to the funniest knock-knock jokes that will have everyone doing their best Santa belly laugh. Plus, check out these brilliant riddles for kids that will get the whole family thinking.