Best Valentine's Day jokes for kids

Make Valentine's Day a memorable celebration for all the family, getting the kids involved with some of the best Valentine's Day jokes for kids that will put a smile on everyone's face. 

While Valentine's Day may have long been one reserved only for romantic love, in 2024 we're opening up the day for anyone and everyone to enjoy. The most important part of the day may still be getting the perfect Valentine's gifts for her that she'll actually love and the best Valentine's Day gifts for him, but the day can be so much more memorable by including your children. 

It might be best not to talk in too much detail about the dark origins of Valentine's Day with your kids, but there are plenty of Valentine’s Day facts to share with them and it can also be a great time to revisit your Love Language as a parent to make sure your child understands how you show your feelings. 

So when you've decided what to write your a Valentine's Day card, maybe including  a Valentine's Day poem to melt your loved one's heart or opting instead for a romantic, rude or funny Valentine's quote, why not let all the family in on the celebrations and make them smile with some of the best Valentine's Day jokes for kids we've rounded up below - they're sure to make an at home Valentine’s Day date a bit easier for those stuck indoors due to the expense of babysitters...

40 Best Valentine's Day jokes for kids

• Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date!
• What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.
• What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? "I'm stuck on you!"
• Why didn't the skeleton go to the Valentine’s Day party? He had no body to dance with.
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
• What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine's Day? "I love you a watt!"
• What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? "I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!"
• What did one volcano say to the other? "I lava you!"
• Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental.
• What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!
• Why did the kangaroo love Valentine’s Day? Because it was hopping with love.
• What did one bee say to the other bee on Valentine's Day? "Hive never felt this way before!"
• What did the owl say to his Valentine? "Owl be yours!"
• What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "You're fun to hang around with."
• What did the calculator say to the pencil? "You can count on me."
• What did the ghost say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "You look boo-tiful."
• What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep? "You’re my baahhh-dy."
• What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day? "You're purr-fect for me."
• What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine's Day? "My heart beats for you."
• What did one piece of toast say to the other? "You're my butter half."
• What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton!"
• What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? "Owl be yours forever."
• What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine's Day? "Somebunny loves you!"
• Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day!
• What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine's Day? "You're bee-utiful!"
• What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? "You're purr-fect for me."
• What did the chocolate bar say to the marshmallow? "I'm sweet on you."
• What did the sheep say to his girlfriend? "I love ewe."
• What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel? "I'm nuts about you!"
• What did the boy snake say to the girl snake? "Give me a hiss, Valentine."
• What did the boy elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "I love you a tonne!"
• What did the boy balloon say to the girl balloon on Valentine's Day? "You make my heart float."
• What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day? A cauliflower!
• What did the paper say to the pencil on Valentine's Day? "Write to the point, I love you!"
• What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day? "You mean a great dill to me."
• What did the paper clip say to the magnet? "I find you very attractive!"
• What did the painter say to his girlfriend? "I love you with all my art."
• What did the watermelon say to the honeydew? "You're one in a melon!"
• What did one light say to the other light on Valentine's Day? "You light up my life."
• What do you call a ghost's true love? His ghoul-friend.