'I felt so responsible' Amanda Holden opens up about son's tragic stillbirth
Amanda Holden has revealed she turned to hypnotherapy to help cope with the loss of her baby boy in 2011.
The Britain's Got Talent judge suffered a stillbirth while seven months pregnant with her second child, a son named Theo.
Amanda revealed she tried hypnotherapy to give her the 'confidence' she needed to believe she could conceive and carry another child, which she did with her youngest daughter, Hollie, the following year.
Opening up in a new interview, the 49-year-old revealed that she and husband Chris Hughes both tried therapy after being diagnosed with PTSD.
'There is not a day that goes by when I don’t think about Theo, especially when a new school year begins,' she told The Sun.
'But after we first lost him, Chris and I were diagnosed with PTSD so we went and had some therapy about that, as anyone would.
'Chris was terribly British about it, went once and was like, "Right, I’m cured", whereas I continued, and then saw this amazing pregnancy woman called Zita West for hypnotherapy.
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'It was to help me believe in my body again, to give me the confidence I could have another baby, and do it all again.'
Amanda continued, 'I just felt like everything was my fault, and I felt so responsible — what did I do wrong?
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'I’d had a Filet-O-Fish from McDonald’s the day before, and I panicked it was that or all kinds of things. I felt pretty neurotic. You really blame yourself.
'The sessions were about trying to make me have positive images about seeing a baby, and that it was going to happen. It really helped.'
Earlier this month, Amanda revealed that her new single, With You, is dedicated to Theo.
'The last lines of this song are "You took my life with you, Took my world with you" and so this is for Theo, our baby who was born sleeping and for Chris who stayed strong when I fell apart," she told The Mirror.
A Freelance Writer and Content Editor, Jenni has been working on the women's lifestyle team at TI-Media on and off for over three years. She writes about your favourite celebrities and TV shows so you never miss an update. Jenni also writes beauty news and features - so for all of your skincare and make-up needs, drop her a line.